It's A Love 'Hate' Relationship
by when-i-caught-myself
Summary: The story of how James got Lily to go on a date with him, and each of their feelings beforehand.
1. James Potter

James Potter

* * *

It was _her. _

It was Her, and only Her, that could make him feel this way. Her, with her flowing dark-red hair and bright green eyes that made him melt—

Those were the same green eyes that looked upon him with hate and disgust. He couldn't understand _why_—why She hated him, why She was disgusted whenever She looked his way. It couldn't be his physical appearance—true, he wasn't very tall and was rather skinny—but years of Quidditch training had at least toned his muscles somewhat, and he definitely wasn't ugly.

So why, then, did she not say _yes_ already? He was handsome, he was smart. An excellent Chaser, and his family, the Potters, had quite a bit of gold stored up. He was, like, literally freaking _perfect_, and so was She—that was why they would even be more perfect together.

He had never known truly living, truly breathing, truly anything—before he knew it was Her. It was never love at first sight—but anyway, he had first met Her at the tender age of eleven and he definitely wasn't interested in girls yet.

After he realized it was Her, he needed to make Her his. When his best friend found out about it, he laughed it off, said it was simply a want because She was pretty. He got mad and exclaimed he couldn't believe his closest companion was doubting the unbelievably deep feelings he had for this girl. His best friend said nothing, but meekly accepted that this was how he felt.

For nearly two (perhaps even three) years he tried desperately to obtain Her affections. His attempts were to no avail, however. But, seemingly, the minute he turned seventeen (or certainly very recently after) something snapped. He decided to back off for a while, maybe date another girl, since She seemed like a lost cause. He did back off, but still She paid him no mind. It depressed him. He couldn't pay attention to any other females, no matter how hard he tried. He only wanted Her, but She hated him. A lot.

Right?


	2. Lily Evans

Lily Evans

He drove her _wild._

It wasn't something she could explain, not after her years of supposedly hating Him. Maybe it happened when Seventh Year started—when He finally started to ignore her. She thought that that situation would be bliss—but she suddenly found that she, most unexpectedly, missed Him gazing at her, a lovesick expression on His face, so engrossed in her that Professor McGonagall had to call His name loudly at least thrice before He would hear her. She missed Him asking her out to Hogsmeade every time they met, to Him showing off during some important Quidditch match, just for her, risking being told off by the Gryffindor Captain.

But even before Seventh Year, in the last third of Sixth Year, she'd already begun to notice a significant decrease in the attention He paid her. By Seventh Year, that attention was nearly completely gone—He was still polite to her, saying Hey and Hello and Excuse Me and such, but it wasn't any different from the ways He treated His other classmates.

He no longer gave her special attention, and she hated it.

She was most surprised with herself, with the emotions she was feeling for Him. She felt regretful that she didn't even say yes once. But, she thought, when He'd still ask her out every chance He got, He was an arrogant, conceited—

Yeah. But now, He changed. He was quieter, more studious (though He could very well get Os with not so much as a glance to the textbook), and he had stopped flaunting His Quidditch skills outside the pitch. He even stopped messing up His hair.

But, at times, He somehow seemed...depressed, whenever He was alone. He still seemed happy enough around The Marauders, but His bouts of depression during solitude worried her.

She remembered how, just a year or so before, how He would 'casually' run His hand through His messy raven hair, and ruffle it, and carefully look at her with His hazel eyes to see if she was watching.

Now all that was gone.

She wondered if they would ever speak again, or if He would only ask her out just once more, because this time she would say yes.


	3. Confession In the Library

**Lily POV**

I stood up from the Gryffindor table abruptly and started gathering my things. My best friend, Alice Gennard, looked up at me in surprise.

"Where are you going, Lily?"

"To the library. I want to read up on some spells I heard we'd use in Charms," I replied.

"Okay. Meet you in the Common Room."

I grabbed my bag and headed up to the Hogwarts library. Contrary to what I told Alice, I had no intention of studying. I had been worrying about James' behavior lately, and since it was lunch time, no-one was in the library now. The solitude and quiet would help me think.

I glanced up. The large teak double door stood majestically in front of me. I pushed it open and saw Madam Pince sitting at the front desk, sorting books quietly. I walked to the far end, to the very last table, and put my things down without a sound. I pulled out a random book and saw, on the other side of the bookshelf, a very familiar face. The person looked up, surprised, saw who it was, and his head drooped slightly. "Oh. Hey, Lily." He blinked. "Well, I need to study this for Transfiguration. Nice seeing you." He walked away.

I rushed over to his side of the bookshelf. "James!" I cried, but not so loudly that Madam Pince would hear me. I grabbed his wrist. He looked up at me slowly. "What?" he said softly.

"I want to know why you're acting this way! Why you're acting all depressed when you're alone!" I exclaimed. Madam Pince shushed me loudly.

James looked at me regretfully.

"It's nothing," he said. Then his face became angry. "What's it to you?"

I was taken aback. This was the first time James had ever expressed negative emotion towards me. But I managed to say:

"James." My voice softened. "Just tell me what's wrong."

He faltered. "Fine," he surrendered. "It's the, er...Transfiguration essay. I can't understand it. It's like gibberish."

I frowned. "James. You've been like this since the start of the year, and the essay was assigned last week. Besides, you're already done with it."

"How would you know?"

"It's on the table. 'James Potter' is written near the top."

"Er..." James paused. "It's... Sirius' essay. And, er... he... signed it... with my name?"

I sighed. "James, I'm not that stupid. Now, tell me, honestly this time, why are you depressed?"

* * *

**James POV**

I looked into Lily's eyes. They were bright emerald green. "Well... I don't think I can tell you," I said quietly. I looked down at the black leather toes of my shoes.

Lily forced my head back upright. "Tell me, James. I need to know."

My resistance, so strong a mere five seconds ago, was now crumbling faster than a damp biscuit. Up until now I was successfully not telling her anything, but I just spat it all out like I was on Veritaserum.

"I was in love with you, Lily."

"Was? What happened?"

"Nothing." I tried to hold on to my last bits of dignity.

"Please. I want—I want to... help you." I noticed how she paused before 'help'.

"I was in love with you... And I still am," I said quietly.

Lily was speechless.

"You see, in sixth year, I realized that I was nothing but some arrogant bully who had nothing but a bit of talent on a broomstick. I always hexed people for no reason and such... I feel horrible for it."

Lily nodded wordlessly.

"I tried to stop being so immature. I was concentrating on that, so I hadn't asked you out as often as before. I'm fairly sure you noticed that."

"Yeah, I did," Lily said quietly.

"Then, at the start of seventh year, this year, I tried to make friends with you, because I thought, 'Maybe she might agree to a date someday if we were at least on a first-name basis.' But you didn't even give me chance to talk to you long enough to actually befriend you. Whenever you'd speak to me, it would only be about whose shift it was tonight, who was gonna tell the prefects their assignments, and stuff. But you never let me in." I couldn't believe I was spouting out all of this in one sitting.

Lily looked down, biting her lip.

"Well, because of that, I got depressed. But whenever I'm with Sirius, and Remus, and Peter, I can... take my mind off things a bit." I definitely didn't tell her that that was because I didn't feel the pain as much when I was a stag.

"James..." Lily started softly. "I... I'm so sorry."

And then, all of a sudden, she launched herself into my arms. (Bliss.)

"I am so sorry, James! I can't believe I was so... so... proud that I wouldn't even let you talk to me properly. I was so stupid!" Lily sounded like she was going to cry.

"Lily... Don't... don't be so hard on yourself. It's not your fault."

"But, James, I made you get all depressed and sad. I feel horrible." We swayed backwards dangerously.

"Whoa, whoa..." I muttered, trying to steady myself. Lily almost fell, so I caught her around the waist.

"James, I'm sorry... sorry for all those things you said I did. I wasn't even aware you were trying to be my friend."

"It's okay now, Lily. At least (well, I hope) you won't... hate me anymore."

Lily frowned. "I could never hate you."

"Well, you certainly gave me the impression that you did."

"I know. I was so wrong." She looked up at me. "Could you not hate me back? Please?"

I looked at her. "Lily Evans, the day I'd hate you is the day the world will end."

"Are you sure?" Her eyes sparkled with threatening tears.

"Of course I'm sure," I told her. "Does this mean you're my friend? Does this mean we call each other by the first name not just because we need to set an example?"

"Yes, James," she declared, pulling me close. (Double bliss.) "We're... friends now."

I wonder why she hesitated before saying 'friends'... I decided to change that.

"Now that we're friends, I'd like to ask you..." My heart beat faster, like never before. This wasn't like all those other times I'd asked her out in the past, since back then I always knew she'd say no. But now, I wasn't sure...

"Yeah, James?" We looked at each other. Her eyes glinted with something; I couldn't tell what.

"Will you go out with me?"

Lily seemed to consider. "Er... I'm sorry, James, but..."

I didn't want to hear anymore. The double bliss I was flying just earlier had crash-landed into the ninth basement of hell.

Lily saw it on my face. "I'm just kidding, James."

I looked at her in shock. "You... you are?"

"Of course I am. Of course I'll go out with you." We hugged tight.

"Thank you. Lily. You know I love you, right?"

"Well, yes... But I think you should know that I love you too."


End file.
